 |
 |
|
 |
|
 |
Hey pipettes,
Welcome to the information super highway to hell! Yes, Lips 106, your
favorite pop station of the nation (well of one city at least!) has
finally joined the twentieth century and launched a website. Fab!
But I've got some bad news, munchkins. Those squares, my bosses
upstairs at Lips, have insisted I get a co- host, because "I'm too old
to connect with the kids." Trust me when I say nothing could be further
from the truth. I connect with kids all the time! Through websites, at
truck stops, and sometimes thanks to my "Cliff Lane Make me a Star
Program" (remember, girls, all you need to do to apply to the "Cliff
Lane Make me a Star Program" is send me a series of photographs of yourself, ideally locker room shots or images of you and your friends rubbing lotion on each other at the beach, because these are EXACTLY the
kind of images my important friends at MAJOR record labels across the
country will want to see to tell if you've got STAR quality. If you
REALLY want to make it in show business, then a nude photo will do
wonders for your career! Several of today's biggest artists got their
first break by sending pictures to me FIRST!) But, no. The nerds
upstairs made me get a co-host, to connect with the kids. And what did
they give me? A 20-something year old who is starting to sag something
awful! Andee! They might as well have gotten my grandmother in the
station. Mutton dressed as lamb! Give me a break. What was wrong with
the girl I found? She was young enough to get away with those crop tops
and looked great in a bikini sitting on my lap! Listeners would have
loved it! But no!
Aah well. Don't say I didn't warn you. Nothing's ever as it seems in
this great big bad world of entertainment. Remember that, and keep
sending me those pictures, and those items of clothing.
Party on, pop pickers!
Cliff
[email protected] |
|
|
|
|
